FUNNY JOKES

                                            ≈≈≈Question in Exam:≈≈≈
Define LOVE and explain in details? (16 marks)
BTech Student's Ans:
"Love is Life.." (marks 1/2 out of 16)
Medical Student's Ans:
"Love is Pain.." (marks 1/2 out of 16)

MBA Student's Ans:
Definition:
A serious disorder of Heart due to Relationship
between Men & Women that can cause Death
of 1 or Both depending on the resistance associated..!!
TYPES:
1 sided & 2 sided
AGE:
Usually occurs in teenagers,
but nowdays can be found in any age...

SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction
DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile
TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe
or Mother's Sandle....
(Got marks 16 out of 16)

                                 ≈≈≈A lady broke the traffic signal≈≈≈
Police :- Stop!!
Lady :- Plz let me go.I'm a teacher.
...
Police :- Aah,I've waited for this
moment all my life.
Now write...
'I'll never break signal' 1000 timez...:P

≈≈≈STUDENTS ROCKS≈≈≈

Teacher vs Students.

Teacher: Can u see God?
Students: No.

Teacher: Can u touch God?
Students: No.

Teacher: Then there isn't a God !

≈≈≈*Students raises their hand*
' Sir, can u see your brain? '
Teacher: No.

Student: Can u touch your brain?
Teacher: No.

Student: Oh okaay, so u don't have a brain!?

≈≈≈Family Problems≈≈≈

| Must Read Full | Loooong but
very Funny |

Two men, One American and an
Bangladeshi were sitting in a bar
drinking shot after shot.
The Bangladeshi man said to the
American, "You know my parents
are forcing me to get married to
this so called homely girl from a
village whom I haven't even met
once." We call this arranged
marriage.
I don't want to marry a woman
whom I don't love... I told them
that openly and now have a hell
lot of family problems."
The American said, Talking about
love marriages... I'll tell you my
story.
I married a widow whom I deeply
loved and dated for 3 years.
"After a couple of years, my
father fell in love with my step-
daughter and so my father
became my son-in-law and I
became my father's father-in-law.
Legally now my daughter is my
mother and my wife my
grandmother.
More problems occurred when I
had a son. My son is my father's
brother and so he is my uncle.
Situations turned worse when my
father had a son. Now my
father's son i.e. my brother is my
grandson.
Ultimately, I have become my
own grand father and I am my
own grandson..
And you say you have family
problems..

≈≈≈REVENGE≈≈≈

A lady broke the traffic signal...
Police :- Stop!!
Lady :- Plz let me go.I'm a teacher.
...
Police :- Aah,I've waited for this
moment all my life.
Now write...
'I'll never break signal' 1000 timez...:P

                                           ≈≈≈|||TRUE 'FACTS'≈≈≈

|We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

|"Hey". "Hey" "You awake?".
No I taught myself to text in my sleep.|

|Tell her she's "beautiful" instead of "hot" She's a woman not temperature|

www. Mhabdullah.tk

|When I m bored nobody texts me but when I m busy, my phone blows up.|

|Emotionally breaking down when you can't get your hair right.|

|"Age 8* "Go to Bed." "noooo !" *Age 18* "Get Up." "noooooo."|

|Saying 'Yeah I'm on my way.' When you're still at home.|

|One day I m playing a song nobody likes it, a month later everybody loves it.|

                                        ≈≈≈...KIDS R Kidding...≈≈≈

First Kid: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.

Second Kid: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.

First Kid: I don’t remember exactly, I was only 3 years old at that time.

                                       ≈≈≈Why students Fail? ≈≈≈

Let's look at the whole Year.

Fridays 52 in a year,
Days left 313....

Summer holidays 50,
Days left 263.

8 hrs daily sleep-130 days,
Days left 141.

1 hr daily playing means 15days,
Days left 126.

2 hrs daily for eating means 30 days.
Days left 96.

1 hr talking means 15 days,
Days left 81.

Exams days 35 days,
Days left 46.

Eid & Gov holidays 20,
Days left 26.

Movies, TV at least 25 days,
Days left 1.
.
Guess.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.

    ≈≈≈Most stupid questions people usually ask me in an obvious situation:≈≈≈

At movie: Hey! What are you doing here?
Me: I sell black tickets here. Don't you know?

In bus: A fat woman steps on my feet; Sorry, did that hurt?
Me: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?

When I get a call at midnight: Sorry were you sleeping?
Me: Nah, I was doing research on why humans have two legs!

When someone calls on land line and asks where are you?
Me: I'm in market with a telephone around my neck!

When I fall from the stairs: Hey! Are you hurt?
Me: No, I'm bleeding cos it's fun.

                                   ≈≈≈8 Interesting confusions.≈≈≈

1. Can you cry under water?

2. Do fish ever get thirsty?

3.Why don't birds fall out of trees when they sleep?

4.What do u call a male lady bird?

5.Why is it called building when it's already built?

6.When they say dog food is newand improved in taste, who tastes it?

7.If money doesn't grow on treesthen why banks have branches?

9.Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle?

Keep thinking..

                                                  ≈≈≈True love≈≈≈

A boy lovd a girl,He was a true lover,He told d girl many times abt his attraction 2wards her,Bt she ignored him.1day d boy brought a pen 4 d girl, He gave her d pen,d girl tuk dat pen wid her whn she had 2 giv her xam. But as she started writing,d pen stoped working,She didnt hv another pen,Nobody helpd her & she finly failed in d xam,She was a gud student,N got Depresd, She was walking alone on d road at nite n sudnly a truck hit her & she died,Whn d boy came 2 knw abt dis, He 2 comited suicided by jumping frm a mountain, dat ws d end of d 2 lovers.

Moral: Use only MATADOR PEN during xam.

                                                   ≈≈≈Tigers≈≈≈

Two Tigers Were Resting Under A
Tree..

Suddenly A RABBIT Passed Very
Fast

Tiger Could Not Saw That & Asked "What Was That?"

2nd Tiger Smiled And Said:

.

.

.

.

Fast Food....:p

                                           ≈≈≈Strong mind≈≈≈

If you can read this
you have a strong mind:

TH15 M3554G3
53RV35 TO PR0V3 H0W
0UR M1ND5
C4N D0 4M4Z1NG TH1NG5 !
1MPR3551V3 TH1NG5! 1N
TH3
B3G1NN1NG 1T WA5 H4RD
BUT NOW,
ON TH15 LIN3 YOUR M1ND
1S R34D1NG 1T
4UT0M4T1C4LLY W1THOUT
3V3N
TH1NK1NG 4B0UT 1T, B3
PROUD!
0NLY C3RT41N P30PL3
C4N R3AD TH15.

Hit like if you can
understand!

                                          ≈≈≈Layer and a Girl≈≈≈

There was a girl who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane.
The lawyer just kept asking the girl wanting her to play a game of intelligence.
Finally, the lawyer gave her a good offer said every time the girl could not answer one of his questions, she would give him $5, but every time he couldnot answer hers, he'd give her $50.00.

The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the girl reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the girl handed him $5.

Then the girl asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the girl $50.00
The girl put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

                                                ≈≈≈DIE≈≈≈

Apple = Vitamins
Vitamins = Power
Power = Work
Work = Money
Money = GF
GF = Tension
Tension = Heart Attack
Heart Attack = Death
See what all prblms an apple can make xP=P 

JUNE